My 500 word challenge

This is my story that I entered for the bbc 500 word challenge…

The Ghost of The Deserted Pier

Once there was four children and a dog, the dogs name was Floppy and the children’s names were Jack the oldest one, Leo the youngest one, Mary and Lucy.

It was a Saturday and the four children had been wanting to go to the beach but Dad had said “first do your chores” so they did.

After a while Dad took them to the beach by car. It took two hours. Dad said “you better have fun and make the most of it”. When they got there this is what they did: made sandcastles, went in the sea and had a walk. Jack asked Dad if they could go to the pier Dad said “no” Lucy said “pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease” this time Dad said “yes but who’s going to pick you up from here?” Jack said “by taxi” “ok but be back for tea!” shouted Dad from out of the car window “ok” they shouted back while running to the pier.

When they got to the pier they where shocked, it was dark, it had signs hanging off buildings and it looked like know one was there at all. So they went inside and all could see was dark, broken, old two pence machine and other things you can do.

They all split up and looked for something to do Leo said he had an idea “lets play hide and seek” Jack said “ok Ill count”so he started counting “One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten coming ready or not here I come” said Jack.

Jack went to find them,he found Mary behind a cupboard door and Lucy under a table but he couldn’t find Leo anywhere. LEO WE GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but Leo didn’t come out of his hiding place “maybe a ghost took him” Lucy said as a joke.

Suddenly they here a loud BANG BANG BANG!!!!!!!!! “what was that” whispered Mary. They walked to one of the walls, the banging got louder and louder when they got to where the banging was it had stopped “that was odd” said Jack.But when they looked around they saw a box of matches they hadn’t been opened yet they kept walking and saw three barrels of gunpowder “someone has bean trying to blow us up”.

They ran round the corner and saw a ghost trying to light a barrel of gunpowder, but he could not find his matches “looking for this” said Jack holding the matches up in his hands “give me that or he gets it” said the ghost “who gets it” said Lucy then the ghost took a blanket off Leo. Jack said to the ghost I will give you the matches if you do a headstand so while the ghost was struggling to do a headstand Mary ran and grabbed Leo. RUN ITS GOING TO BLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! they ran to there taxi GO GO GO!!!!!! so the driver went fast. When they got home they said “Dad were sooooooooo hungry”.